Once in a while, it is always good to stop and reflect on ourselves. And today felt like one of those days to me. I am 23; a university grad for almost 2 years now ( though I have not matured as one) and blessed enough to have a good job and people around me. But too often I get caught up on that 9 to 5 grind, and fall in the trap of being too busy to take a moment to see where things are in life at this very moment. So these are the lessons I have learned so far or at least could think of today:
- Giving up that constant need to control: I have always been a type of person who always liked to have control of situations and outcomes. When things have not gone my way, I have had a not so appealing reaction. But, I learned that one of the keys to happiness is letting go of trying to control every single thing in your life. Universe has an interesting way of working and sometimes if we try to control too much of everything, we might not only be interfering in our own happiness, but preventing better things in life to come our way. And from time to time there is just something very exciting about not knowing, not planning every detail and going ahead with it anyways, without knowing exactly what will happen. After all, that is what life is all about. This lesson was reiterated to me when I watched Jurassic world and Chris Pratt’s character posed a remark about humans need to control (of course referring to dinosaurs but it does apply as a bigger message)
- “An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind”: I had read this quote by Gandhi when I was very young and always believed it to be true. But, when it came to applying this to my own life; it was harder then I thought. I learned the harder way that trying to just get back at someone or trying to make things even by being the same as the aggressor, made myself the bitter person. At the end it didn’t make me feel any better, nor did it make the situations better. And that is how I realized wars and crimes sometime start; its that seeking of revenge and whoever is seeking revenge just believes that person, that country etc. deserves what is coming for them. It is not up to us to decide what someone does or does not deserve. That is how a lot of the conflicts between cultures, religions or countries have been going on for centuries. It needs to be more about leading with love and example; hoping that society will start reciprocating that love instead of the hate. Wow I just realized I took this issue from myself all the way to the politics of the world, so point being, yes it also applies to us as individuals 🙂
- Be present and capture every moment: This is of course a cliché that you find written everywhere. I learned that only when we know the end is coming near of something or someone; do we start appreciating it. Whether it be end of school, a job, a relationship, a trip, someone you love closer to the end of their life (yes last one sounds darker then the rest but it is a fact of life you know); It is hard to appreciate every single second of a day; but it all starts with awareness. Once we know to start being present in important moments; we will have less regrets of missing out on things when they were there, and more happy captured memories we were present in.
- Have a close relationship with your parents: This is something more recent I learned; to listen to my parents stories, their life experiences, regrets, accomplishments and advice (even if you don’t follow that advice :P). And just plain spend time with them doing fun activities because they are getting older and its time for us to give back. Also, charity starts at home so before we go out volunteering around the world, we have to make sure to give our time to those loved ones back at home. I wont lie, I did rebel a lot in high school days and even university where just having my own independence and doing whatever I want was first priority. But that started changing when I graduated and started appreciating more people who have stuck around in my life for the long haul; number one for most of us being family. Spending more time with family also made me learn more about myself, who I am more like in the family; what our family history is (even health history), and all this plays a big role in our life. It allows us to learn from our family experiences and in terms of health; knowing what our family is most likely to have so we can take preventative measures now.
- Dali Lama’s quote about mankind when asked what surprised him the most (No explanation needed for this):“Man surprised me most about humanity. Because he sacrifices his health in order to make money. Then he sacrifices money to recuperate his health. And then he is so anxious about the future that he does not enjoy the present; the result being that he does not live in the present or the future; he lives as if he is never going to die, and then dies having never really lived.”
- Go on crazy adventures with friends: Just go out and depending on how much money you have; try new things at least once a month or twice a month or everyday if you can 🙂
- Finally, last lesson is to shut that Ego up: As we grow up for some of us, including me, our Ego’s get bigger and bigger. We feel owed and entitled, demanding respect from everyone but not really reciprocating it back. So that is one last thing, it is different to know what you deserve and very different to just feel entitled to things when you have not earned it. Decrease the size of that Ego, respect everyone and anyone and earn each thing you have in your life.
It seemed more like my advice to everyone; but I wrote it that way as that is my advice to myself based on my lessons so when I look back at it; I can say how much wisdom I had gained by 23 (yes I am working on my ego) Hope you enjoyed it and do share your lessons that you have learned in the however many years you have been on this earth.
This is something new I did with this post; sort of straying away from the theme of my blog but I promise next post will be of food, oh and here is a glimpse… 😀